what I wanted to tell Flo today (18/1/15):

  • we’re real close to signing the lease on our house for next year (and a few more years after that, hopefully). it’s kind of exciting to imagine decorating my first house. I want the front room to look like the Gryffindor common room, all red, full of cushions and books and cozy as fuck.
  • G sent me this card to thank me for being there for her and it was so so nice. the group message I have going with her and T is keeping me alive, I’m glad we’re sending the love by snail mail too. I got them both these heart shaped boxes of chocolates, which I think are definitely supposed to be a romantic gift, but the way we text each other “I’m sorry, I love you, I’m here for you,” all the time is more supportive and loving than most romantic relationships, I’d bet. me and Y too. we’re all taking good care of each other, okay? don’t worry.
  • I randomly remembered today that they measured you as 5’4 in the hospital. and you were so excited about it, and kept bragging to anyone who would listen, and when I went to hang out with your parents over break they talked about how freaking thrilled you were to be 5’4. it made me happy to think of you happy, but kinda sad because we always said we were the same height – hobbit height – but you really had an inch on me. makes no sense that that one inch should bum me out, but yeah. that one inch got to me today.
  • I’m starting lessons again for proper tomorrow. I’m gonna try really hard this term, to keep on top of my notes and pay attention in lectures.
  • I love you. I know I said a couple days ago that the stabby sudden pain is gone, and it was what I associated with missing you, and now I just ache a little all the time, but this isn’t me forgetting you. right?
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