“did you say it?”

did you say it? ‘I love you. I don’t ever want to live without you. you changed my life,’ did you say it? make a plan, set a goal, work towards it. but every now and then, look around. drink it in. take your time, because this is it. it could all be gone tomorrow.

– Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy


“poetry, beauty, romance, love: these are what we stay alive for” / what I wanted to tell Flo today (21/4/15):

we don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. we read and write poetry because we are members of the human race! and the human race is filled with passion!and medicine, law, business, engineering: these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. but poetry, beauty, romance, love: these are what we stay alive for. to quote from Whitman, “O me! O life!… of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless… of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?” answer: that you are here – that life exists, and identity. that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. what will your verse be?

– monologue from Dead Poets Society, spoken by Robin Williams

(I’m reading this as the intro for my group’s final piece for medical humanities. it reminds me that even if school and isolation are making life feel very bleak, some good tv or a movie can pick you back up. that was always your philosophy. some movie from 1989 beat you to it, but you’ll never make a movie now so I’m glad somebody put this message out there. it made me think of your yearbook eulogy too. I’ll put that up here some day. actually, I’m getting into embroidery like I said I would, and I’d love to embroider out your yearbook rant and frame it in my new house in London. then I could have the Iron Man plaque you gave me in my new house in Southampton and have a piece of you with me in every new home. would love a stable home. but if there’s one thing I’ve learned you can’t fight it’s the turning of the seasons and the pouring of the sands of time and change change change change change. I don’t want to fight it, to be honest with you. time heals all wounds and it’s healing the divine incision that separated me from you.)

(I tagged this with acceptance. first time I’ve used that tag. change is good.)

“don’t leave me here alone”

I don’t think that I’ve been in love as such,

although I liked a few folk pretty well.

love must be vaster than my smiles or touch,

for brave men died, and empires rose and fell

for love; girls follow boys to foreign lands,

and men have followed women into hell.

in plays and poem, someone understands

there’s something makes us more than blood and bone,

and more than biological demands.

for me love’s like the wind, unseen, unknown:

I see the trees are bending where it’s been,

I know it leaves wreckage where it’s blown.

I really don’t know what I love you means.

I think it means, ‘don’t leave me here alone.’

– Dark Sonnet, Neil Gaiman